Season 9

1. Tinder Profile Picture Day (2)

If your picture’s a selfie it looks like you don’t have friends.

2017-01-05 • 3 min

2. The Horrors of Hungover Traveling

Pretty much exactly as awesome as it sounds.

2017-01-10 • 3 min

3. Bizarre Amazon Product Reviews (2)

The twirling spaghetti fork pairs exceptionally well with the wine purse.

2017-01-12 • 4 min

4. I Need More Intel: Is That Hot Guy Gay?

Shirtless bro pics are always a red herring.

2017-01-13 • 3 min

5. Dogs Are Practice Babies

Don’t forget: this will still be a destructive, constantly shitting nightmare.

2017-01-17 • 3 min

6. Horror Movie Girl Is Embarrassed She’s a Virgin

Everyone knows the pants wiener is inflated by massaging on the private areas.

2017-01-19 • 5 min

7. How to Wash a Goddamn Dish

Don’t worry – it’s so easy, there’s literally no reason not to do it, you entitled piece of sh*t.

2017-01-28 • 2 min

8. Fake News Investigative Journalists

The truth is powerful, and it takes constant vigilance to drown out that truth with noise.

2017-02-07 • 3 min

9. Awkward at Parties Horror Movie (with Allison Williams and Lil Rel)

A party guest most foul.

2017-02-17 • 3 min

10. Stressagains: The Restaurant for Stress-Eating

Just like the momentary distraction your mom used to make!

2017-02-17 • 3 min

11. Movie Make-Up Makes Acting Hard

When it comes to make-up, less is muhhrrrrrrrg.

2017-03-03 • 4 min

12. Extremely Real People Who Are Definitely Not Actors

Audition? What’s that, some sort of exciting new Ford truck model?

2017-03-08 • 2 min

13. 5 Tips for People Who Don’t Understand Taxes

Doing your taxes is easy if you make stuff up.

2017-03-09 • 2 min

14. Oh No, Why Is This Trending?! (2017 Edition)

Legend has it people used to tweet tiny, comical stories, known colloquially as “jokes” or “goofs”.

2017-03-23 • 4 min

15. We Found Sinbad’s Shazaam Genie Movie!

I told you “Kazaam” was a different movie!

2017-04-01 • 3 min

16. Music Festival Boot Camp

You can’t handle the merch booth.

2017-04-14 • 5 min

17. It’s Technically a Meal

It’s healthier to cook for yourself! Right?

2017-05-13 • 4 min

18. Eating with Your Rich Friends

I’ll have the “corking fee”.

2017-04-20 • 4 min

19. Just Let the World Die

Take that, student loans!

2017-04-29 • 4 min

20. An Honest Call with Your Bank

Oh, a problem with my account? Well, prepare for a tantrum that blames you personally.

2017-05-04 • 3 min

21. Sleepovers When You’re Gay

Dream Phone was SO heteronormative.

2017-06-20 • 4 min

22. The Straightest Dude Ever

He eats lighters.

2017-06-27 • 4 min

23. The Relationship Simulator Bed

What’s a couple hours of sleep every night for love?

2017-05-27 • 4 min

24. Date with a Fast Food Burger

Boy meets grill.

2017-05-25 • 3 min

25. I Can’t Decide What My Last Meal Should Be

Why don’t we both get something, and we can share?

2017-06-18 • 4 min

26. Porn, but for Crying

Oh, yeah, fit that injured puppy with a lil’ prosthetic leg.

2017-06-22 • 3 min

27. These Incriminating Photos Look Amazing

Is this blackmailer’s evidence of you looking fucking hot or committing a crime?

2017-08-03 • 3 min

28. Hinting That You’re Also into Guys

Ok, they’re gay. Now, for a super chill, totally laid-back way to just like CASUALLY hint that you are too or whatever.

2017-08-12 • 4 min

29. Your Favorite Shameful Flavors As Chips

New from Chompsky’s: All the shameful self-hatred of eating peanut butter with a spoon, in the convenience of a potato chip!

2017-08-19 • 2 min

30. Sorry My Car Is So Gross

Sure, it’s a little messy, but there are so many places to ash!

2017-08-22 • 3 min